absdax

all these lymerics were written by absdax and Laura.
Aks Pippin and Gandalf. Whilst on holiday in Scotland.
If you wanna use them just make sure we get mentioned as the creator... Ta.
Pippin...

What has it got in it’s pocketsis
I don’t trust stupid fat hobbitsis
It could be string
Or any old thing
But I don’t know where my precious is!

Young Frodo inherited the ring
Of which dear Bilbo will sing
To Mordor he walked
And orcses did stalk
And Gollum destroyed precious thing

Gandalf the wizard of Grey
Came into the Shire one day
Young Bilbo he sent
On a mission he went
And said with a dragon you’ll play

Aragorn was a ranger fair
With a touch of gray in his hair
A big sword he’s got
But that is his lot
Sitting alone in his lair

King Elessor of Gondor
Doesn’t rhyme with anything
So he doesn’t get a proper limerick
So neh!

Boromir went walking one day
And everyone all shouted ‘hey’
Your bags overflowing
And where are you going
You might get lost on the way!

Gollum once caught a lovely fish
Was really quite a tasty dish
Sam took it away
And Gollum did say
Stupid fat Hobbitsis, Phish!

There was a dwarf in the fellowship
He didn’t like boats
He didn’t like elves
He didn’t like running cross-country
Plus he broke his axe!!

There was a dwarf in the fellowship
He used to think he was really hip
He met an elf
Who said to himself
That dwarfs a bit of a twit!

Gandalf’s got a pointy hat
Which makes him look rather phat
As he passes their way
He makes people say
Frodo is good, who is that?

A strange young Hobbit we did meet
Who thought mushrooms were a treat
In water he did soak
And thought it a joke
To splash hot water with his feet

As we walked away from Bree
We met a man who told a tree
Let them go
You are to slow
For someone cool like me!

At weathertop we once did stop
To cook our breakfast by a rock
Frodo said ‘no’!
We have to go
Well that’s nice ash on my tomatoes!

The elves they gave us lembas bread
And Legolas to us he said
One small bite
Will se you right
So we ate four instead

Samwise Gamgee went walking one day
He met some elves upon the way
He turned to his master
And said lets go faster
And hear what they have to say

Along the dark paths of the dead
Where all but elves are filled with dread
Underground they went
Gimli’s courage spent
But dwarfs will go where elves will tread

In Shelob’s lair
You must take care
If you get a fright
Take out your light
And call on Elendil fair

Shelob is a spider gray
Lurking in tunnels for a prey
Orcses taste bad
But Gollum is mad
And said to hobbits ‘this way!’

Arwen is the evenstar
She called his name from afar
Aragorn is alive
I know he’ll survive
To be crowned King Elessor, Hurrah!

A hobbit hunting we will go
Come rain, wind, hail or snow
We look down holes
And talk to moles
But we only catch them if they’re slow!

Camping on the western isles
We can see the sea for miles
We see no ships
And no hobbits
So now we search them in the wilds

The dog she marches round the car
But we know she won’t go far
She’s on a string
And has no wings
So watches birdies from afar

Bilbo was a hobbit old
Had a ring of shiny gold
But there was talk
He feared to walk
Because the ring he stole

Samwise was a gardener young
Pippin likes to suck his thumb
Merry said
Is Frodo dead?
Or have the eagles come?

On the slopes of mount doom
Where all out hearts are filled with gloom
Sam did hail
If we should fail
Then this will be our tomb

Now back in the shire
We sit by the fire
In the green dragon
Each with a flagon
And Hamfast called us a liar

Four little hobbits went to Bree
Then we attacked by a willow tree
Tom Bombadil
Said, do not kill
These hobbits, set them free

Smeagol and Deagol they went to play
In the Gladden fields one day
Found a ring
Gollum did sing
Give it to me, it’s my birthday!

Merry and Pippin sat in a tree
Quite relieved that they were free
Where is the food
I’m now in the mood
I’m sure its time for tea!

Merry and Pippin they did sing
Fine pipe weed is just the thing
We need to smoke
And tell a joke
And wait on the wall for the king

Theoden had a horse of white
The Nazgul gave it quite a fright
Down it fell
King Theo as well
The witch king proved his might

Eowen seized her uncles sword
Though her plan was slightly flawed
She cut of its head
His mount was dead
The ringwraith was enthralled

Then the witch king he did say
There’s no way you’ll win the day
She tried to fight
With all her might
And Angmar she did slay

Eomer he was passing by
And thought his sister doomed to die
The houses of healing
He took her with feeling
And Faramir said ‘don’t cry’

We’re sailing to the undying lands
To take a walk upon the sands
Frodo did say
We’ve come along way
To get away from the fans!

Whilst escaping evil things
We passed the pillars of the kings
In elven boats
We tried to float
And happy songs we sing

Queen Denny is a little mad
And thought poor Gandalf bad
Faramir he sent
Away he went
And now we all are sad

Queen Denny he did try to fly
From a rooftop way up high
On the way down
He saw the ground
And thought ‘I’m doomed to die’

Then Faramir awoke
And the first words that he spoke
What was that I heard
I thought it a bird
It wasn’t my father I hope?

Queen Denny said I’ve just the thing
To prove that Gondor needs no king
I’ve heard its found
Don’t make a sound
I’ll send my son to fetch the ring

The middle-earth taxi as we all know
Will take you wherever you want to go
Said Frodo to Sam
I don’t give a damn
The eagles will come in a mo!

The wizards vale, as we all know
Is very rarely filled with snow
Saurman lost
His mind to his cost
And now he needs to learn to row

Did you see the hobbits on the way to Bree
Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Sam Gamgee
They met a stranger
He was a ranger
Are you frightend, nothing frightens me!

There once was a Hobbit called Merry
Who went on a trip in a ferry
But when he got there
The cupboard was bare
And all he had was a cherry!

There once was a Hobbit called Pippin
Who liked doing nothing but sittin’
One day he awoke
And wanted a smoke
But couldn’t find any weed, Rippin!

Enjoy em

love

Pippin